My Partner Just Asked Me to Open Up Our Marriage, What Do I Do????
Did your partner just talk to you about opening up your relationship? I bet you are going through a lot of different emotions. Let me help you navigate through some of these.
First and foremost, THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!! This does not mean that your relationship is over. Nor does it mean they don’t love you.
Just the opposite actually. Them being able to talk to you about such a difficult subject means that they feel safe and secure with you and your relationship. I’m sure it took a lot of courage for them to ask your opinion and help to allow them to be more of the person they believe they are.
I also believe this is a great opportunity to strengthen your relationship, no matter if you agree to become non-monogamous or not. Your partner coming to you, is giving you the opportunity to learn more about each other. You can have frank and open discussions about what YOU want and what YOU feel comfortable with. This gives you both an opportunity to discuss fears–fears of abandonment, fears of loss, fears of the unknown. You can dive deeper into both of your past relationships. Healing some of the past hurt and trauma and pain that might be lingering. You can bring more fun into your lives by discussing fantasies and being more playful and lighthearted with one another.
By reading this article, I think you are doing the best thing you can do for yourself, educate yourself. Read my article, A Non Traditional Relationship–A Relationship Reinvented, to see that there are many different types of non-monogamy. Some may scare the shit out of you, some may sound intriguing. If there are any that do sound interesting to you, go and talk to your partner about them.
This is also a great opportunity for you to learn more about yourself. By looking deeper into your fears, you get to know yourself better and have a chance to move past these fears. How good are you at setting boundaries? Opening up your relationship will give you a chance to work on setting and maintaining your boundaries. This alone can give you more self-confidence and increase your self-worth.
I bet you are saying to yourself, “of course you would say this Steph, you are a non-monogamous relationship coach.” True. I do find benefits in being in an ethical non-monogamous relationship (ENM), but I don’t believe it is for everyone. I do believe that this is more about you and offering you an opportunity to grow. Also, I am not saying a non-traditional relationship is all rainbows and unicorns. All relationships have challenges whether they are monogamous or not. How you and your partner work through them is what makes a relationship survive or fall apart.
Reach out to me to help you work through your thoughts and fears. I won’t push you to be in an ENM relationship if it isn’t right for you. I will support you as you learn more about yourself. I will challenge you to push your boundaries, but I will never push you to do something you do not want to do. I can help navigate through difficult or scary conversations and situations that might come up.
Take a deep breath, this isn’t the end of your relationship, this could be the beginning of you becoming more connected with yourself and your partner.
Reach out to me on social media or send me an email at Steph@KoruLifeCoaching.com if you have any thoughts, questions, or comments about this post.
