Intention Setting in Relationships
Recently, I have been hearing more and more about intention setting, so today I want to talk about what exactly that means and how it can help your relationship. Does that sound good to you? Great! Let’s get started.
Let’s start with the basics. What are intentions? Intentions are similar to goals (and you know how I love goals, right? Check out Goals if you don’t) as they are a guide for you to live your life. Unlike goals that have measurable results, intentions are focused more on feelings, emotions, and guide you to be who you want to be. Intentions use your values to help you achieve your goals.
For instance, a goal might be to volunteer to be lead on the next work project because you have been afraid to step up. Since you want to take a lead role because it scares you, an intention to go with that might be living your life with courage. If you struggle to complete projects because you get distracted, a goal might be completing the project by Friday and an intention is to stay focused and avoid distractions. An intention is the why behind your goal. Make sense?
Intentions will help you keep focused when you get off track or run into roadblocks when completing your goals. They also give you grace during those times. In the above examples, if you volunteer to lead the next project at work, but another person gets chosen as lead. This isn’t a fail because you aren’t the lead, you are still living within your value of living with courage so it is still a win. Let’s say you avoided distractions and stayed focused but still didn’t complete your project by Friday your boss gave you other projects to work on first. You are still living by what you believe is important, being productive, even if you didn’t reach your goal.
Okay, Steph, what goes into intention setting? I’m so glad you asked! Intention setting is pretty simple and only takes a few moments. You just have to figure out what kind of person you want to be, how you want to interact with people, or what makes life meaningful to you. That sounds a bit intimidating doesn’t it? It’s really not, but let me give you some examples of intentions.
- I intend to treat my partner with respect and love.
- I intend to be present today.
- I intend to stand up for my own beliefs
- I intend to embrace change.
- I intend to communicate better with my partner, by listening to him and not cutting him off.
- I intend to support my partner’s dreams and goals.
Intentions should be positive and not focus on negative traits. So, instead of saying I intend to be less anxious today, you can say I intend to be flexible or I intend to celebrate my small wins today.
If you can, be specific about your intentions, yet keep them simple. It will give you a clearer direction. Instead of saying you intend to be nice to your partner, say you want to tell them at least one thing you are grateful for daily.
To help intentions stick, once you decide on your intention, think about the value or goal that is associated with it. Ask yourself why this is important to you. I also think writing your intentions down to help you to remember and follow through with them. Not just writing them down, but referring back to them throughout the day. Write it on a sticky note and put it on your computer. Use a dry erase marker and write it on your bathroom mirror. Use an app like “Word Swag” where you can type it out in a pretty font with a nice background, snap a screenshot of it and make it your home screen on your phone.
Recognizing and shifting your self limiting beliefs will also help your intentions stick. If you constantly get stuck in a cycle of “what if-ing” (what if this happens, what if that happens), breaking this pattern will help your intentions come to fruition.
I also said I would tell you how intentions can help your relationship, but as I come to that part, I’m not sure how to put it into words so I will just give you some examples of intentions for relationships and let you see how they can shift your thoughts and improve your relationships.
- I intend to love unconditionally
- I intend to show love, compassion, and affection to my partner daily
- I intend to avoid criticism and complaints
- I intend to communicate with vulnerability and honesty
- I intend to build trust by being more vulnerable and open
Can you see how living with these intentions can help improve your relationships?
Now it is your turn, go set some intentions to improve your life and your relationships! I would love to hear what your intentions are. Drop me a line on social media or email me at Steph@KoruLifeCoaching.com
