I need you guys to do me a favor. I am going to type a word. I want you to read it, then, pause and sit with how it makes you feel. Does it bring up a positive connotation or a negative one? Does it make you cringe or smile? Can you do that for me? Are you ready?
Here it is.
Swinger.
So, what feelings and emotions came up for you? Do you think it is a dirty word? Do you have happy thoughts or did it make you cringe? Did you think “gross” or “interesting?”
I have been a “Swinger” for over 19 years now and I feel that the term elicits a negative reaction the majority of the time. So, I want to share with you some great things that I have learned from being a swinger. Also, the majority of “Swingers” now prefer the term The LifeStyle.
- I have learned how to embrace who I am and my sexuality.
- I have traveled the world to some of the most beautiful destinations. There are lots of lifestyle resorts and vacations in many different locations.
- I have made so many lifelong friends. I have one friend I have met only one time and we still talk, over 11 years later (we haven’t had sex). Friendships that start from a place of honesty and vulnerability have a stronger base to grow.
- I learned how to do trapeze. Yup, high flying trapeze. I learned to fly from one bar into Mike’s outstretched arms on another.
- I pushed my boundaries in so many ways. I can’t tell you how much I have grown.
- I have met some of the most amazing people through the LifeStyle. My best friend Rick says, “Swingers live passionately with truth and conviction.” I couldn’t agree more.
- I appreciate people more for their differences. We are all unique. We all have quirks. That is what makes life fun and interesting.
- I learned to love my body. My body has changed throughout the years and I have always felt wanted and desired.
- I have become a better lover to Mike. There are plenty of times when we just melt together and I don’t know where I end and he begins.
- Compersion is the feeling of joy one has experiencing another’s joy. I have learned to move from a place of jealousy to a place of compersion when seeing Mike with someone else. Talk about freeing!
- I have learned that I don’t need someone in my life. I choose to want them in my life. It has empowered me to feel that, I am in control of my life.
- I get to dress up in beautiful clothes and costumes and have so many amazing experiences! I can’t tell you how many great stories I have!
- I can love Mike for who he is, not, who I want him to be. I don’t have to have high expectations for him to fulfill my every desire. No one person should be expected to meet all the desires of another. That’s just not practical or reasonable.
- I can have relationships with other people that can be deeper than a traditional friendship. I went from not having many close friends 15 years ago to now having friends in my life that I will love forever.
So, I challenge you to be open-minded the next time that you hear the term “Swinger”. The LifeStyle has evolved into a caring and thoughtful, alternative community of like minded individuals that have chosen to live their lives to their fullest potential.
