IS IT SELFISH TO HAVE ”ME TIME”?
I love the idea of “Me Time”. Time, where I can wander aimlessly through Goodwill sipping a latte. Time, where I can sit at home eating green chili cheese fries, drinking a bottle of wine and binge watch Housewives. Time, where I can dike around town with no specific destination in mind. Time, where I can do whatever I want or don’t want to do. It is amazing, rejuvenating and necessary. So why do I feel guilty when I ask for it?
I think I feel guilty because it can sound selfish. I don’t want Mike to think I am not excited to spend time with him. I don’t want Mike to think I don’t love him.
If I don’t get my “Me Time” I feel run down and tired. I am short and snippy. I become agitated and I can feel my nervous system fire up. At times, I can barely stand to be around myself.
Do I feel guilty because of my years of being a people pleaser? I heard a new term for this today, “chronically agreeable”. I’m not sure, but the more women I talk to, I’m finding that I am not alone in this feeling.
If you feel the way I do, I want to give you a couple pointers on how to ask for “Me Time.”
I like to start with a soft approach. You can say something like, “I really love and appreciate our time together.” Then, I like to tell him how I am feeling. It might sound like, “Recently, I have been feeling drained and run down.” I then make my request. “I really feel like I need some “Me Time.” I was thinking Wednesday, I was going to take the evening to be by myself. I want to order Thai and hang out in the basement watching mindlessTV. Can you maybe find something to do or even just let me be alone for the night?”
Now, that doesn’t sound too bad does it? I find being honest is the best bet. When you are asking, ask with confidence because you are worth it and you do deserve it.
So, what happens if Wednesday night doesn’t work for Mike? This neutral, honest approach gives us the opportunity to discuss what works for both of us without any ill feelings.
Next time you are desperate for some “Me Time,” give this approach a whirl and see how it goes for you. Let me know how it goes by dropping me a line. If you have other ideas that work for you, I would love to hear them!
