Paired
I want to talk about an app that Mike and I use to feel connected and allows us to get to know each other better. It is called Paired.
There are two versions. The first is a free version. In this version, you and your partner receive a new Daily Conversation every day. In the premium version, in addition to the Daily Conversation, you also get access to over 1,000 quizzes, games, questions and relationship exercises from their experts. They frequently run deals on the premium version and only one person has to buy it and their partner gets it for free.
Of course, you and your partner will need to download it and make an account. It’s been a little bit since we did this, but if I remember correctly, I started one then invited Mike to make his account so we would be linked. Even though I don’t remember the exact process, I do remember it being easy.
We currently have the free version, so let me tell you how it works. Everyday we get a new Daily Conversation. The topic for these questions are vast and include communication, conflict, family, home/work balance, money and finances, and sex and intimacy to name a few. For example, “Which of your relationship rituals makes you feel most loved?” “How does your partner make you feel listened to?” and “What sexual experience with your partner has been the most memorable?” are some of the recent questions we answered. With each question, they also include a little drop down box with the question, “how answering this will help my relationship.” When you open this drop down, the experts from Paired use studies to explain to you why answering this question will bring you together and help to improve your relationship.
Next, we just answer the question. These answers are free text and they give you an example answer in case you feel a bit stuck or unsure how to answer. Our answers are hidden until we both answer the question. I like this feature because this allows us to answer honestly, without influence from each other’s answers. Once we both answer, our answers are revealed for us to read. I can leave a reaction to his answer using emojis if I want to and he can do the same for me. Once we both answer, we are then given the option to discuss our answers via their chat option or share our results on Instagram or send it as a text message with someone.
The chat option is an ongoing thread where we can look back at the questions we answered and can make comments about those answers. I like that Paired gives the opportunity to discuss the answers, but I prefer to talk about questions that bring up emotions or feelings or answers that I am completely shocked by. We don’t use this option frequently for that reason.
At the end of each month, Paired sends us a “Monthly Check-In.” This is a 8-10 question survey asking about how you and your partner connected for the month. The questions are always a little different. Some of our previous questions include: “My partner made time to listen to me this month,” “My partner initiated emotional and/or physical intimacy this month,” “I’m satisfied with how we resolved disagreements this month.” To answer, there are 5 different faces to choose from–from big frowny face to straight mouth to big smiley face. Once you both answer, you will be able to see the results and see how both you and your partner felt for the month. Paired highlights areas of strength in green and opportunities for growth are in red. It again gives you an opportunity to discuss the results in the chat section, but I highly recommend chatting in person.
Every so often, Paired will give us a game to play as the Daily Conversation. In the game, they ask you about 5 questions to answer about your partner, then they ask you the same questions to answer about yourself. The last game we played was titled, “How Mature are You?” and some questions were, “How does your partner react when you argue?” “Would your partner ever hold a grudge?” “If your partner made a mistake at work, but no one knew, what would they do?” These have multiple choice answers to choose from. These are fun as they are a bit competitive as you are playing to see who gets the most questions right about their partner. Mike almost always beats me. Lol. As with all the other questions, Paired gives you an opportunity to discuss your results in the chat section.
Paired keeps track of how many questions you answer, how many days in a row you have answered, and how many games you have won. Each month they give you an opportunity to win a badge for the month if you both answer usually 10 questions per month. Overall, this information doesn’t do much for your relationship, yet it adds a bit of excitement to see how many days in a row you can answer questions (my longest streak is 50 days), and adds a little bit of friendly competition to see who can win more games.
You can find Paired in your app store (Paired: Couples & Relationships) or at Paired.com.
I almost forgot to tell you about their website! On it, you can find a multitude of articles written by their experts in the magazine section in addition to a list of their experts, so, it can be a great resource when you need a bit of guidance.
I am not getting paid by Paired for this blog. I just wanted to share a fun way we connect in hopes it might help you in your relationship. Drop me a line on social media or email me at Steph@KoruLifeCoaching.com if you use Paired and tell me what you think!
